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The Colbert Report/Episode/537
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro SEGMENT1 * Dr. Colbert is a little nervous, Queen Noor is on the show, but she's not his first royal ** John Kin ** Larry King ** Fresh Prince of Bel Air * Michele Obama gave the Queen a reach around * Dr. Colbert will wear surgical gloves ** and shaking hands with a reacher-grabber *** the proper way to touch royalty * TV is on life support ** that gasp your hearing is not just from 60 Minutes * Advertising Age ** revenue drop * PBS ** CSI:Library * Morally Bankrupt ** from Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation *** Promotes socially conscious programs all around the world * reached out to TV producers ** message placement in shows ** pro-social messages * husbands fat and dumb * wives don't want us to have any fun * black women are sassy and wise * higher cause ** made deal all Viacom networks * Dr. Colbert is about to grow a conscience, but only after the check clears * bold, new business model * pay for cursory positive messages * put wholesome into reruns * Dr. Colbert awaits the Gate's cash flow ** make TV a source for good, without removing any of the good stuff Better Know A District * NY Dept of Health says not to eat ** PBCs (put carp in belly) * carp caught in NY 25th * Palmyra ** The Golden Plates *** Won free tour of Jesus' chocolate factory ** oldest miniature golf course * Erie Canal ** opened 1825 ** Andrew Edward *** Killed one of Stephen's ancestors * Democrat Dan Maffei * Muffy was too masculine * great place to grow up ** working class families * home to Syracuse University * voted against his party 8/10 of 1% * he voted on the bill without reading it * Nancy Pelosi would eat his heart in front of the other people if he voted against * against NAFTA ** safe ** NAFTA may not be the same as NAMBLA * he needs to research NAMBL before voting against it * Star Trek fan ** Spock in Mirror Mirror * wondered what it would be like if he had an evil twin, who could do what he wouldn't do, or say * "I enjoy cocaine because ..." ** it gives him joy." * I enjoy the company of prostitutes, for the following reasons ** it gives him joy * self-proclaimed nerd * always wished he was cool ** drank a beer with Stephen *** making them both cool * live long and prosper ** ? * making Dr. Colbert awful close to better knowing Canada Interview * Queen Noor * book: "Leap of Faith: Memoirs of an Unexpected Life" * wants to rid the world of nuculer weapons, switching to space-based death rays * he is allowed to shake her hands * written 2 books * chair of King Hussein * trying to make Queen Elizabeth look lazy * she is like Stephen in that she * may get a cable show * Global Zero is not a diet soft drink ** initiative to rid the world of nuculer weapons * nuculer weapons keep up safe * cold-war mind-set * US can't return ours first ** we can be trusted we know how bad it is * Russia and US have the most nuculer weapons * 40 countries has enough to make 100,000 more nuculer weapons * she is calling for Israel to bomb Iran * she said the Colbert Nation gets it * has proven he is a leader * mobilized over 230,000 votes * asked Dr. Colbert to sign on to the Global Zero initiative ** she has to knight him first * Stephen provided the sword ** now that she has the sword, he has to sign first *** proof that she has negotiated before * beknighted him, Sir Stephen leader of the Colbert Nation Epilogue * Dr. Colbert hiccup-free since two-thousand and ... ** Jimmy will have to reset the clock Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments